lyrics
MY LYRICS HAVE BEEN REFERRED TO AS “HUMOROUS” BY NONE OTHER THAN WIKIPEDIA.
WHAT IS A CAR?
Here is twenty thousand bucks
I got a car
What the fuck is that
I know that it rolls
I know it has lights
Is it made of teeth
I miss my trike
What is a car?
Is it a man? Is it a machine?
What is a motor vehicle?
Is it dirty? Is it clean?
Did I mention I have low IQ?
Did not even go high school
But I know my rights
And I have a right to learn
What is a car
It is not a trolley
I don’t think a truck
It’s not for playing volleyball
No wheels, you are stuck
It is not a toy
It is more than a toy
It’s not inexpensive
I think it is sexual
HDTV
Television’s mind control
But is better with with more colours
Like pink and blue and green and purple
Internet is Google Netflix
And many other aspects
I urge you to give it props
Steve Jobs, RIP
HDTV
Ernest Hemingway
HDTV
But this is not about internet
This is about having a nice screen
Look at “The Scream” onscreen and SCREAM
Characters used to be blurry
TV weather was snow flurry
I want resolution
I got revolution
George Washington & me
Thomas Jefferson & me
George Harrison & me
War of 1812 & me
HDTV
Have a nice time
DVDs
Too many quality pixels
Video of A Perfect Circle
Check the first letter of every line
I spelled HDTV
I smell HDTV
Je m’appelle HDTV
Je t’adore HDTV
Je t’aime HDTV
Why move backwards?
HDTV
I GOTTA COLD
Stuffed nose is wasting tissues
Green phlegm all over sink
Having lots of sniffles
Mucous on my dink
I got a cold
Oh no
I got a cold
I know that it’s important
To attend your graduation
Because you are my son
But I have a sneeze situation
I got a cold…
I just got the test
It’s not a cold at all
They checked out my blood
It turns out I’m cool
DOGS
So many dogs in this bar
This is not legal at all
That’s not a beagle at all
It is a hungry pitbull
This is ruff
There are some dog rumors
I want to clear up
For instance did you know they cannot talk
The only noise they make is bark
Off to the park
It is good to have dogs
Responsibility reciprocity
Go on airplane for velocity
Don’t crate your dog
Don’t crate your dog
Dog should go to dog park
Responsibility and open air
It’s a dog barbershop
Dog hair everywhere
Another rumor about dogs
Is that they protect and serve
Dogs are not police
If they say that
Then you know they are a liar
It is good to have dogs…
Don’t crate your dog
I WANNA BE A GRANDPARENT
I can’t wait to have kids
Those kids can’t wait to have kids
I have so many kids
I am probably grandparent
I wanna b a grandparent
I want 2 have legacy
I wanna b a grandparent
They will fight over my $$$
Tonight
They will take care of me
When I am infirm
Wipe me down with sponges
That is a fact I can confirm
Ch
I am a rich billionaire
Work so hard get where I am
I am a gazillionaire
Dick don’t work and I am sad
Ch
JAKE
Jake is the name of my fantasy friend
We travel the world until my life’s end
And that’s not all
We have a ball
Me and also Jake
Something about Jake
He likes to bake
Order a cake
For you he’ll bake a cake
What does it take for Jake to bake a cake
Fifteen hundred dollars
Give the money to me
I am Jake’s broker
He will spend it on weed
He is a toker
Ch
We like to watch Shrek
Movie for ogres
I make wear spike leather choker
Heath Ledger was excellent Joker
He passed away in Saratoga
Ch
JAKE
I LOVE OPULENCE
I am in my mansion
I am in my yacht
Picture of me in dictionary under ‘have’
You are under ‘not’
I love opulence
I love it
Put on my fur coat
Put on my fur hat
It feels nice
What do you think of that?
Ch
I love opulence
Opulence, it loves me back
I love diamonds
I love taking caviar baths
I love opulence
I love it